Should I Tell My Child They Are Autistic?

Should I tell my child they are Autistic?

Should I tell my child they are Autistic? Yes. That is the correct answer. BUT how you decide to discuss with your child that they are Autistic and when you decide to discuss with your child that they are Autistic will be as individual as you and your family culture.

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Should I tell my child they have Autism?

Should I tell my child they “have” Autism? No. That is the correct answer. There is an important reason as to why we as an Autistic community advocate to not use the language of “having” Autism. It infers that we are disordered or having “something” wrong with us. When in fact being Autistic is an identity and culture. We share a broad commonality of Autistic traits across our Autistic community that is as vibrant and unique as humanity.

If deciding to speak with your child about their being Autistic, I recommend starting early and supporting them to understand they are part of a wonderful community of thought leaders, empaths and creatives who change the world every day for humanity, for the better by their very existence.

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Why should I tell my child they are Autistic?

Many Autistic advocates emphasize that being identified as Autistic in childhood can have numerous benefits, especially when the identification is approached through a strengths-based, neuro-affirmative lens. Here are some of the key benefits:

1. Self-Understanding and Acceptance

• Reduced Confusion: Early identification can help children, and their families understand why they think, feel, and exist in certain ways, reducing feelings of confusion or frustration.
• Positive Identity Development: Knowing they’re Autistic allows children to build a positive sense of self as they grow, recognizing autism as an integral part of who they are.
• Access to Role Models: Identification opens the door to connecting with Autistic role models, fostering self-esteem and hope for the future.

2. Support Tailored to Their Needs

• Appropriate Accommodations: Schools and communities can provide sensory, social, and educational accommodations to better meet the child’s needs.
• Avoiding Misdiagnosis: Knowing the child is Autistic can prevent misdiagnoses that might lead to inappropriate supports.
• Early Intervention: Families and educators can focus on supporting the child in a way that builds on their strengths and helps them navigate challenges effectively.

3. Improved Relationships

• Enhanced Communication: When families understand their child’s communication style, it can reduce frustration and improve connections.
• Advocacy Skills: Families can teach their child to self-advocate for their needs and boundaries.
• Harmonious Environments: Friends, teachers, and peers who are aware of a child’s Autistic identity are more likely to adjust their interactions to be more inclusive and respectful.

4. Prevention of Harm

• Reduced Internalized Stigma: Early identification with a neuro-affirmative approach can help children grow up with pride in their neurodivergence, reducing the risk of self-stigma.
• Safer Social Experiences: Children who are identified and supported may be less likely to be misunderstood or bullied.

5. Community and Belonging

• Access to the Autistic Community: Identification allows families to connect with the broader Autistic community for shared experiences, advice, and support.
• Cultural Identity: Many Autistic advocates frame being Autistic as part of a rich neurodivergent culture that celebrates diverse ways of thinking and being.

6. Better Academic and Life Outcomes

• Strengths-Based Learning: Knowing their neurotype allows educators to tailor learning methods to suit the child’s strengths and preferences.
• Career Alignment: Early understanding of how they process the world can guide Autistic individuals toward fulfilling and sustainable careers or interests.
• Lifelong Skills: Early identification allows children to develop skills to navigate a predominantly neurotypical world without sacrificing authenticity.

7. Parental Empowerment

• Informed Advocacy: Parents who know their child is Autistic can better advocate for their child’s needs and rights.
• Proactive Parenting: Parents can focus on celebrating their child’s uniqueness rather than attempting to “fix” perceived differences.

By your child having their Autistic identification become known to them in early childhood, families and communities can shift the focus to “what’s needed?” — fostering an environment where Autistic children can thrive as their true authentic selves.