Back to School

Back to SchoolBack to School

In a few short days the summer will officially be over. Summer clothes are being put away all over Ireland this week while a fresh batch of school uniforms are being pressed & readied for Monday morning madness. Shoes will be polished, books & copies covered, name tags placed, lunch bags packed, all ready & waiting in anticipation of that first ringing bell, telling the world the school year has begun.

We will wonder at how we will ever pass the time that has been so filled over the summer with various excursions and attempts at keeping our children entertained on the never ending rain soaked days.

On that first morning when the house is empty and the school bus dutifully pulls away from the curb filled to it’s brim with over excited, jolly children, I will take one big deep breath in and then out, done. School has begun for another year. How SHALL I pass the time.

It just so happens I have plans to do all the things I couldn’t do over the summer when the kids were spilling from room to room around our little house. Here are just five reasons I will be happy; I have a feeling there will be many mammies who will do the same.

Back to School

Back to Life

Shower in peace– oh yes top of the list, I will have a shower and no one will knock on the door with life altering questions such as ‘mammy do you know where my Nintendo DS has gone’, or  ‘can you make me a drink’. I am looking forward to having a shower and knowing my little two year old cutie Jack will not have his face pressed up against the shower door having a look and waiting for me to pick him up. As cute as his pretty little face is, it is nice to have a shower without the two year old chubby cheeks pressed against the glass.


Drink Tea – my most favorite thing to do to relax, if you know me at all you will know I am a tea addict. There is nothing more relaxing than that solitary cup of tea first thing in the morning, where you can still think you are in bed asleep and this lovely warm cup of tea is almost like your security blanket. During the summer there were no solitary tea drinking sessions, nope, just cup in hand chasing a 5 year old around the house saying “wee wee- wee wee” from sun up til sun down while he potty trained. When not chasing said 5 year old with a potty, I would clasp my precious tea in hand and chase an irate 2 year old; who would run around the house with anything he could swipe from the bathroom cupboard! You can imagine the hue of red on my face one not so sunny morning when I opened the front door to the post man and my blond 2 year old threw a new packet of toilet rolls at the Postman’s feet. Needless to say the Postman can confirm my two year old cutie will supply Andrex loo roll to any one who darkens our door first thing in the morning.

Phonics song Free Zone – If you have a child under 5 years of age or even older for that matter, you will be well versed with various You Tube Channels that possess numerous incantations of children’s phonic songs/ nursery rhymes and so on. Of all the songs that play on You Tube there is one song that both Jack and Conor love but with which I have no fondness for at all, most likely due to my hearing it on repeat for the last number of years. Over the summer this song alone with lyrics such as ” never eat a donut when your stuck in a door” has played every day in my kitchen. From Monday (in the voice of Chandler Bing)between the hours of 8 – 3 there’ll BE no phonics songs in my kitchen, there may be some 80’s pop tunes but you will never get me to admit it.

Clean Clothes– Yes I will be wearing clean clothes between the hours of 8-3. Thereafter I envision what has been plastered all over my clothes this past summer. The official identifier of all mothers to small children emblazoned across tops/pants/skirts and blouses all over Ireland. People without children will know it as “uuugh, or eeewwww what the hell is that” I will know it as a two year old wiping his snotty nose off the leg of my pants, a five year old’s hug with hands and face covered in chocolate and not to forget a 7 year olds face full of “Barbie” make up set rubbed across the front or back of my top which ever is nearer when she dives in for a kiss. So if you see me looking clean you KNOW my children are at school.

Autism Class room

Shop like a human– We all know the manic that is shopping in town with children in tow, the panic starts as soon as you step a few feet away from the car… ‘please god let them stay beside me in the shop and if I should meet anyone I know, please, PLEASE god let them not embarrass me’, Murphy’s Law dictates that at that very moment you will walk smack bang into someone you did not want to meet (for various reasons) and your daughter will decide NOW is the time, the RIGHT time to randomly say … “did you know my mam does not wear underpants”, YES it happened to me.

Hailey decided recently that NOW was that time  when I looked liked I had been dragged through a bush backwards a few times (really it was from exhaustion, but to the naked eye? clearly a bush dragging session had happened) and had no choice but to go to town to get food for the clan I bumped into an old college friend (sorry if you are reading this I wasn’t trying to avoid JUST you, I was trying to avoid eye contact with all humans on that morning). So thanks for that Hailey my friend from 10 years ago now thinks I go about the place underpants free, yup that’s my life.

So NOW once they are at school I can go to the store, I can even sit in cafe and drink TEA, without wiping anyone’s nose or rushing anyone to the loo and if any one has verbal diarrhea I know with certainty it will not be any child belonging to me. I will be the other woman in the shop looking like a human being, puke free clothes, hair tied neatly back, and for once there will be no jam or someone else’s snot on my face. I will look human.

So there you have it just an inkling of my child free plans when Back to School time finally arrives. How about you? Are there any Back to School rituals you are looking forward to taking up again now your mites are out the door?


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