Alone at the School Gates

School gates

I remember my first day of school like it was yesterday. My lovely daddy drove me to school that day in a little navy van. Sitting up the front beside him we arrived at the school gates where my teacher Mrs. Martin met me with a big reassuring smile. I however was undeterred  on my plan to hold on tight to my dad’s leg, forcing him to obviously bring me home with him.  I remember hugging my dad so tight never wanting to let him go. Mrs. Martin eventually wrenched me off his leg, enveloping me in a warm hug and carried me off to my first day of school. Every day after that first day I was excited to go to school, to learn all the magic that was held in it’s books, I fell deeply in love with school & learning from that day on, the love of learning has stayed with me ever since.

First Day Feelings.

When I had my own lovely children I imagined dropping them off to school, passing on my love of learning to them, teaching them in the evening. I was really looking forward to the dropping off/picking up, kissing & hugging them into oblivion. I was equally looking forward to each of their first days at school, the part you always see in the movies where the moms wait at the school gates chatting, exchanging knowing glances of nerves & excitement, wondering how their Little Puddins coped on their first day of school. I was so so lucky I got to experience that fleeting feeling of excitement when Hailey started school as I didn’t realize then that it would be the only time I would get to experience a “first day” like that.

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Love without a Voice

Autism Poem

Love without A Voice.

Written by Amanda Mc Guinness.

I long to hear the “I love you’s”
With lots of kisses, or just a few,
A lingering hug, a wave or two,
Anything at all, as long as it’s from you.

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I’m glad I don’t have Autism.

When I think of Conor and the future I try to think not too far ahead, thinking instead of small steps of progress. I am always hopeful of the future but not of my breaking heart. When I think of what may lie ahead I feel a lump in my throat, anxiety jumps around inside my stomach as if he were on a trampoline, my heart starts to feel a sort of fragile pain almost like a whispering wind whirling around it, usually at this point my mind supersedes my frail heart helping me to focus on something else more present like what I am doing at that particular instant. That is how I cope with all that raising a child with Special Needs brings, don’t look too far ahead, focus on the here, the now.

Big sister

When your daughter asks repeatedly when her little brother is going to talk, or that she can’t wait until he can so she has someone to talk to it is like a knife to the heart cutting jaggedly at each tiny piece falling away. She has every right to wonder, to want an answer & to be hopeful. I can see how it plays on her mind, she is accepting of what is, but still wonders why/when he will talk, why he has autism, why he can’t go to the same school with her, why her brother is different to her friend’s brothers.

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Building Strong Children.

Confident children.

We all want our children to be happy & healthy, to live to their fullest potential. We want to know that when we are gone from this world our children will be strong of character, and spirit. Mindful parenting can help our children grow up to be strong adults with an unshakeable core confidence.

What we as parents repeatedly say to our children becomes their “inner voice”. It is this “inner voice”  that helps them to develop their inner confidence. If you repeatedly tell your child they are bad or have little value they grow up believing this to be a true self perception, as your opinion is what they value most and hold to be truest of all others.

We are all so busy in our lives today that I know it can be hard to keep your mind on everything we “should” be doing as parents. I myself can be neglectful of saying how i really feel about my lovely little ones as I try to navigate through a busy day.

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