The catch up

The Catch up

 

If you are reading this post then  you may have  noticed that I haven’t been too active here on my web blog but I am almost always active over on my Facebook Blog page. I have just taken a break from writing on here as sometimes life gets too busy and I need to take a step back, look after my children and make sure I am meeting their needs as best I can. Factor in daily therapies, OT sessions, working on Speech Therapy, trying to spend quality time with each and then just doing normal mom things like baking with my lovely Hailey or going for walks with my handsome little boys, well, there isn’t much time left in the day.

I just wanted to pop up a post to let you know, we are all keeping well. Jack has started to talk, thanks to the amazing help of the super talented  Keira Keogh Behavior Consultant, it is a long road ahead of us yet to get him where he needs to be but he is doing amazingly well with the guidance of his lovely Therapist who he now calls “Keea” lol! Il pop up a post before Christmas about what he gets up to during his Therapy sessions. [Read more…]

Life is normal now

Normal Now

Jack and Conor

They say that “time is a healer” and I think that maybe that is true. If you told me that 12 months ago; I would have cried with the anger, pain and fear I was trying to overcome at that time. Angry that autism had claimed my youngest son now as well as his big brother, pain that I could of done more for him if I had known sooner and fear that I just wasn’t ever going to be able to do enough to help him. [Read more…]

Wheels on the Bus Free Printable

The wheels on the bus go round and round printable

If you ever see me out walking with my boys or call to our house unexpectedly you will usually find one of us singing Nursery Rhymes to Conor and Jack. They both absolutely adore music and song, unfortunately myself and the crows outside sound quiet similar but luckily both my boys seem to appreciate my attempts to make them happy through singing (badly) their favorite songs. Music and song really helps them to feel happy and calm so I always try to include what they love in their daily lives.x

The sad part about them both not being able to speak just yet means they can’t “sing” just as you can I would so I am always trying to find ways to encourage their interaction, giving them more control over their environment. One way I can really help them is through Visuals/Communicative aids that help to give them a “voice” when we are having fun together during song time.

As Jack is a only just starting out with PECS (Picture Exchange Communication) I wanted to make sure I created a Visual he could use just as easily as his older brother Conor.  [Read more…]

It is not your fault

It is not your fault It can be bittersweet sometimes watching the boys as they play happily on their own. Peeping through Conor’s bedroom door I watch as he happily throws his Angry Bird Teddies up, up, up in to the imagined sky I think he sees above his head. I find myself just then swallowing down a deep sorrowful pain I can feel rising in my chest that always seems to start in the pit of my stomach somehow. It feels sort of like a balloon expanding but pushing up, up, up into the sky waiting to break free just like Conor’s teddies but it is the most sorrowful and painful feeling I have ever experienced in my life. It comes and goes and can catch you off guard sometimes just like one of Conor’s “flying” Angry Bird teddies which  have been known to “ping” you on the head when you pass Conor’s bedroom if his door is open. His teddies much like that sorrowful feeling can catch you by surprize and steal the peace you thought you had in your heart.x

Jack just like his big brother Conor loves to play on his own, I know he loves me but for the most part he likes to be on his own, playing in his world, lining up his toy cars, listening to Bingo the Dog or Wheels on the Bus. Sometimes I think if I hear “The Wheels on the Bus go round and round” one more time my heart could burst with the pain I feel inside. Not because I can’t bare to listen to it the million times a day Jack has it on repeat but because I know that in some way on some level that is how Jack copes in our world. Having his songs on repeat all day long reminds me that just like me he is doing his best to cope, to live his “normal” in our world.x

It is not your fault [Read more…]

Face the fear and do it anyway

face the fear and do it anyway

Face the fear and do it anyway.x

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time to when I was young; somehow, back then things always seemed to turn out alright.x I remember being small and afraid of the dark, afraid of monsters under my bed, or unknown noises in the dark. Back then all it took was for my dad to leave the hall light on for me at night or my Mum to check under my bed, to give me the all clear so I knew I was safe. I remember that feeling of relief that everything was going to be alright. No matter what the problem was if Mum or Dad said it would be okay, then I knew it would be.x

I sometimes find myself wishing to be that young again; when that was all it took for me to know things would turn out alright in the end somehow. Over the last few months I have found myself struggling with the weight of the responsibility of what now rests on my shoulders, the reality of having two little boys who are unable to speak, who have Autism and SPD, Developmental Delay and Intellectual Disability, who rely solely on me to survive now and in the future. I think every parent feels that way from time to time but I feel it more acutely with Conor and Jack then I do with Hailey, as they rely on me so completely all of the time, it can be so breathtakingly overwhelming.x [Read more…]

Orchard Toys make Learning Fun

Orchard Toys ReviewEvery family has their “go-to” toys, family favorites, much loved, worn out games, puzzles and toys that will hold a treasured place in the memories of little hearts, forever. When you live in a special needs family; you really learn the value of time spent together, I don’t mean physically in the same place but that real sense of “together”, connecting on a level that spoken words can’t really describe. [Read more…]

Living inside the Autism Bubble

Autism Bubble

My gorgeous Jack.x

Peering up into my eyes, my lovely Jack smiles and I smile back as we sit together while all are sleep. He turns away from me now and rubs his little face with his favorite cloth as the light of the fire keeps us company. It’s almost 3am and we are in darkness except for the glow of the fire keeping us warm. Kissing Jack’s gorgeous little head I rock him over and back in my arms singing the alphabet song again, again, again. I would so love to know why the letters of the alphabet make him feel so safe, maybe he will tell me someday I think.x

It is always in the dark of night that I wonder most what it must be like to live in the Autism Bubble, in their world, to wake up one morning to the way they think, see and feel the world. Conor and Jack both live in “our” world but oh what I would do to live in theirs. Just for a moment, to see. feel and be just like them, just so I could really understand them, so I could “really” help them.x [Read more…]

We are back on the Autism Road

Back on the Autism Road

Jack is finding his way in our world.x

 

Starting Over

This week a new chapter in Jack’s short life has begun. A step in the right direction for him and us as a family but in another way it is sort of bittersweet. I am so glad for him that Conor’s amazing Resource Worker “Mary” is back in our lives and is here to help Jack just as she helped Conor starting out all those years ago yet it makes my heart so sort of feel heavy for a moment. I didn’t think we would ever be back here again but here we are.x  [Read more…]

What I learned this past year

Jack "helping" tidy the Christmas Tree last Christmas.x

Jack “helping” tidy the Christmas Tree last Christmas.x

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When Santa can’t help

1510946_10152551828518298_464121583_nI think the song goes “it’s the most wonderful time of the year” and it is, mostly.

I have always loved Christmas, loved Santa, loved the super cheesy but festive Christmas songs you hear in all the shops in November and December. It really can be the most wonderful time of the year, but it can catch you off guard too in the most unexpected way. Just when you are busy rushing around like everyone else in the toy shops, in the Department stores, standing in the line of children queuing up to see the most famous man in the world who happens to wear a red suit, it will just hit you. [Read more…]