Starting over

Baby Jack

Baby Jack

You never really know what you have lost until you realize that it has gone. The thought that I could have two little boys with special needs, who are not able to speak; still doesn’t seem real to me, but it is. I love them equally, love them just as much as before, maybe a little more because I know what may lie ahead as I have been travelling this road now for almost six years. [Read more…]

Facing the unknown

 

Baby Jack is famous! x

Baby Jack is famous! x

Life is all about facing the unknown.x If you had told me a year ago I would have two boys with special needs and that both my lovely boys would not be able to speak, I would not physically have been able to cope with the prospect. I have already lived the last 6  years of my life raising my gorgeous Conor and would not have expected that now Jack would join him on his Autism journey. [Read more…]

Conor’s Autism

Autism

Baby Conor

Conor’s Autism

I have been asked so many times recently about Conor and how we found out about him having Autism. I usually give the good version and say we found out when he was less than 18 months old and at that time he was the youngest in the County to ever be diagnosed. It is all true but what lead to that diagnosis has been some of the hardest most painful years of my life. I decided to finally write down how it all happened and I may come back later to add more to it as I don’t think I could mentally cope with remembering all that happened and all we have been through all at once so for now I have written my first draft for you to read. It will be in two parts as it is a long story.x I’l post the second part in a week or so , once I have built up the courage to write it. So for now here is Part 1 of Conor’s Autism.- [Read more…]

Special Needs Moms need to know

Autism Awareness

♥ You are doing the best you can.

You are doing your best right now and that is enough. When you feel guilty that you are not doing enough for your child, that you could be doing more, know that all special needs moms have felt just as you do right now. You can always do more later, write out what needs to be achieved in a list and tackle it one point at a time, you have so much going on in your life right now caring for your family and your child(ren) with special needs, your best right now is enough.

♥ You are not alone.

We are all here waiting for you. Becoming a special needs parent can be both heartbreaking & overwhelming, just know that you are not alone, there will always be someone who has walked this road before you. There are thousands of special needs parents living in Ireland today and around the world. Social media groups are an excellent source of support/advice/friendship online, Facebook is an excellent online window to such groups. Come find us.

[Read more…]

Love without a Voice

Autism Poem

Love without A Voice.

Written by Amanda Mc Guinness.

I long to hear the “I love you’s”
With lots of kisses, or just a few,
A lingering hug, a wave or two,
Anything at all, as long as it’s from you.

[Read more…]

I’m glad I don’t have Autism.

When I think of Conor and the future I try to think not too far ahead, thinking instead of small steps of progress. I am always hopeful of the future but not of my breaking heart. When I think of what may lie ahead I feel a lump in my throat, anxiety jumps around inside my stomach as if he were on a trampoline, my heart starts to feel a sort of fragile pain almost like a whispering wind whirling around it, usually at this point my mind supersedes my frail heart helping me to focus on something else more present like what I am doing at that particular instant. That is how I cope with all that raising a child with Special Needs brings, don’t look too far ahead, focus on the here, the now.

Big sister

When your daughter asks repeatedly when her little brother is going to talk, or that she can’t wait until he can so she has someone to talk to it is like a knife to the heart cutting jaggedly at each tiny piece falling away. She has every right to wonder, to want an answer & to be hopeful. I can see how it plays on her mind, she is accepting of what is, but still wonders why/when he will talk, why he has autism, why he can’t go to the same school with her, why her brother is different to her friend’s brothers.

[Read more…]

Special Needs Secrets.

Autism Secrets

 

I have been very lucky to experience what it is to be a mother to both children with and without Special Needs. I am thankful to have a child without a special needs condition or health concerns. To be able to experience what it is to have a happy healthy child that can speak, has friends, can go to parties, sleep overs, go out into the world without a care, who can fend for themselves and live a life away from home when she is ready.

On the other side I have also been blessed to live the life of a Special Needs Mother and I feel equally thankful as that has truly opened my eyes and heart to a world I had not really realised existed until I was pushed through its door many years ago. I am equally proud of my son’s progress no matter how big or small, and hope for the day when he too will be as independent & free as his big sister.

[Read more…]

The Day of Diagnosis.

Day of Diagnosis

On the day you learn that your child has special needs it won’t matter to you just then how long you have suspected, how long there had been a question mark or even how you are actually told. Once those words are revealed to you, your world will change forever. It can feel like the world is continuing on around you, but you are standing still watching everything. You wait for the words to evaporate so you can focus on the reality, but they won’t and you can’t.

A million different thoughts whirl around your mind, your heart quickens, your mouth dries. [Read more…]